looking back...

I know - I know - it's been way too long. I have been 'not so silently' scolding myself for the last month now because I have failed to keep my promise of updating more regularly on just how great Camilla is doing. For future reference the mantra 'no news is good news' apparently fits concerning this blog :)

So as I sit here tonight, on my 35th birthday, reflecting over the past year I can't help but think how it has been, by far, one of the most difficult of  my life. As I pause to remember just how difficult, my mind is immediately overtaken by the memories that make this past year, by far, the most blessed of my life as well. Difficult because Camilla underwent her 3rd and 4th MAJOR brain surgeries and all of the worry, anxiety, stress, fear and sadness that you might imagine would go along with such events and blessed because she remains seizure-free (10 months and counting) and we continue to feel the love and grace of wonderful friends and family, a supportive community and above all God who has poured out His peace and comfort in abundance over the last 12 months. As I looked in the mirror tonight I couldn't help but notice that the reflection has changed drastically over the last several years. In fact, I'm pretty sure the last 7 years have aged me about 15 more than I'm rightly due. Instead of the word wrinkles I think I'll use the term 'battle scars'.  Oh well, either way it's much easier to deal with since Camilla is doing so well now.

And she really is doing well. 4 days ago we passed the 10 month mark of being seizure-free. Whew - what an accomplishment for her and what a relief. We are busy planning her 1 year seizure-free celebration - Walt Disney World here we come! We will be going in February (a little early we know but we're optomistic) and I can't wait to share how much Camilla enjoys herself on this trip. We are also celebrating many accomplishments as far as development is concerned. She is adding new words almost daily (still single - mostly labeling or request words - no conversation just yet) and in the last few months we have heard 'Dada' and 'Mama' almost daily :) She has learned a few new signs and is much more consistent and appropriate with the words from both her mouth and hands. There have been many 'aha' moments concerning very small aspects of her development - most too small to recount here but when put together display a child who is 'awakening' and on the path to learning and progress. We continue to take 'one day at a time' and are trying to be faithful and thankful in the small things. Prayers appreciated for continued development and many more days without seizures.

I hope to update soon with pictures from the last several months...thanks for checking on us...until we meet again....

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

 

chatty cathy...

Camilla is still seizure-free! The past 5 1/2 months have been great - her days are filled with laughter and her eyes seem clearer. Her actions are calmer, controlled and more deliberate. Her communication is clear and undeniable - though not with words - and she has learned several new signs. She is potty-trained (during the day) and is learing to dress herself. We are so grateful for our many blessings - especially the one named Camilla! We have been so happy to watch how she is growing and learning since the surgery.

On this journey with Camilla we have learned a lot about finding joy in what you have - in what surrounds you everyday - and not placing expectations on things, events or people. We have learned a lot about accepting our 'cross' and about meeting people where they are - meeting Camilla where she is rather - and not placing expecations on her. Now don't get me wrong I still have plenty of dreams and wishes for her but my happiness is not wrapped up in her fulfilling these things - my happiness is wrapped up in how far she has come and what she CAN do. I guess that's why I was so surprised last week when, out of the blue, she said a new word 'bye-bye'. Had I really gotten so accustomed to her communicating in other ways that I actually stood there, with my mouth hanging open and my heart just praising God, in total disbelief. She spoke! She spoke a new word! Since surgery Camilla has actually been less vocal than before and from all of the information that I read and everyone I talked to about this surgery and the children learning to speak it seemed that most advances were made very soon after surgery (days and weeks). So I guess I had chalked it up already that we would continue to communicate in other ways for awhile longer. I guess I was wrong because in just over a week Camilla has added 'no, blue, hi, and dada.' It's random sure but we'll take it! Praise God! I can't wait to see what He has in store next - maybe 'mama'!

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

testimony...

You can't have a testimony - without the test! We have had several people contact us regarding the testimony we gave at Fairhaven Baptist Church several weeks ago, some blog-followers who were trying to get a DVD of our story, please know that we will be happy to share those with anyone who wishes to have one. You may email or message me directly or you can contact Fairhaven at 334-289-0712 (ask for Brandon & Kelley Smith's testimony) and one will be mailed to you at no charge. We are grateful to have the opportunity to give voice to Camilla's story and we feel that God is leading us to share with others. We are also grateful to the several churches and other groups that have scheduled Brandon and I seperately or together to speak. I'm very excited to see how God will use these opportunities to reach families being tested and to bring glory to His name.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 

birthday bubble bash-

beWhat a fun day! Camilla's  7th birthday bubble-bash was great fun! We had bubbles of all sizes, shapes, colors; we had bubble wrap, bubble gum, bubble coloring and bubble bath all worked into the mix and Camilla thoroughly enjoyed them all. Seriously, I don't know that I have ever seen her have more fun than being elbow-deep in bubble solution for  several hours straight. She wouldn't even leave the bubbles to blow out the candles on her cake - we had to bring the cake to her.  

 Officially this marked Camilla's first 'real' birthday party - friends and all. Typically we have just done very small parties with close friends and family because Camilla had such behavior and socialization issues that it made it difficult for her to be in large groups especially if there were lots of distractions and since she doesn't speak it made it difficult for her to befriend and communicate with other children. Also, in the past it has been a struggle of mine to see Camilla with children her same age. It was always just so difficult to see where she 'should be' developmentally - and birthday parties would
 always just throw me into a funk. Those issues
 just don't seem to bother me anymore - finding
 joy in the blessings that surround me everyday
has to be one of the most gracious gifts God has
given me. Camilla is just that too, a joyous blessing, a 7 year-old joyous blessing.
Happy birthday my sweet angel!





"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Happy Birthday Camilla!

Wow!!! 7 years certainly does fly by when you're having fun. In all honesty I wouldn't call all of those 7 years fun (have you read the rest of the blog) but I can say that I wouldn't change a thing. There have been so many great times and great memories with my sweet 'baby angel' and God has used her in a mighty way to shape me into the person I am today. In fact, He has used her smile and her story to shape many people in many different ways. **Please pardon me for the retrospective and sentimental tone to this post - her birthday's are always a difficult time for me and for some reason I can never pinpoint exactly why. I just always find myself a little 'emotional' this time of year.**

reliving the journey...

So last Sunday night Brandon and I shared our testimony with our Fairhaven Baptist Church family. It has actually been a very emotional week - reliving the journey to relive the journey. There were so many emotions, so many fears, so many tests and so many tears that I would have loved to have never revisited. But in all honesty, now that it is over, I'm really glad to have had a reason to honestly dive back into those first few years after Camilla began having seizures. It was quite theraputic to look back and see where we were as compared to where we are now and to realize just how God's hand was guiding us all along. I'm so thankful for the love, support and encouragement that was shown to us on Sunday. We do feel led to share Camilla's story with others and Sunday was a very important step in leading to that goal, if for no other reason than for us to see if we could handle it and to see if there would be a message that would reach people no matter the similarities or differences between their story and ours. We had originally intended to close our talk with a slideshow of pictures of Camilla but as time was running out I still couldn't get the music to load properly so we scratched it but I thought I would share it here - I know how to do the music here :) Oh and it is worth noting that we are past the 3 month mark (March 26th-June 26th) and we have still not seen a seizure!!! Praise God from whom all blessings flow! This is the longest she has been without seizures since 6mo old(and there were only 2 other breaks-one for 5 weeks and one for 3 months)!!! "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11